If it helps, we always give gift cards and/or cash to teachers. Sometimes we get a thank-you, sometimes not, but I feel that is okay, as it's a very busy time of year. I would just give generously based on your appreciation and gratitude, and leave aside your hope for a reciprocating thank you.

Such ingrates (for not acknowleging a holiday gift)...perhaps this seasonal gesture is no longer worth the hassle of going through.

My kids used to give a 2 lb. box of See's candy to their favorite teachers but those things now run about $55.00 + tax.

>...we always give gift cards and/or cash to teachers.

I can see giving a gift card but personally speaking, giving cash might send out the wrong message (i.e. a subtle request for preferential treatment).

Usually gave at the end of the year vs. Christmas unless semester class. They have summer break to respond. Maybe they don’t want gifts and a personal email is the better way to go so it doesn’t send a bribery message. We’ll do that instead.

I give gift cards and messages to teachers. We always have and we always will. They work so hard and some days it's not an easy job. I don't expect a thank you. The gifts themselves are thank yous for all of the work they do. Thanking for the thank you starts a cycle that has no obvious end. My gift to them is the thank you.
I hope they take the vacation to spend with their family and rest!

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Most Civil Servants (government employees, public servants, etc) in the US are prohibited from accepting significant gifts, although the definition of significant varies. Teachers are traditionally allowed small non-monetary gifts, but, don't go overboard. Also, be aware that a large accumulation of gifts may actually create paperwork - reporting requirements - for the teacher and may not be appreciated for that reason. Keep it small.

> be aware that a large accumulation of gifts may actually create paperwork - reporting requirements - for the teacher and may not be appreciated for that reason. Keep it small.

Then the key is to keep it unreportable. Two years ago, we gave our daughter's 5th grade teacher a one week stay at our Maui condo. No reporting required in the absence of money or material goods.

Sounds like you've found the answer to your dilemma--stop giving if it upsets you. Not sure why this situation warranted what might across as yet more teacher bashing courtesy of Town Square...not a good week to kick teachers in this district...they're already down.

Most teachers I know prefer a sincerely-worded card. You could even follow-up with an email and CC a principal if it helps avoid the indignance this situation triggers in you. Scoured an ettiquette site that claims an in-person "thank-you" for a thank you gift is enough as the gift is in response to a "gift" you've already received from the recipient. Perhaps if the gift is delivered by a student that's what happened?

Be willing to be the one organizing a group gift, and be willing to allow that some people just can't afford to give those kinds of gifts, but give credit to everyone. That way there is no question of favoritism, and the teacher can send one thank you the whole class and not be expected to write 70 individual thank you's keeping track of a panoply of sweets, gift cards, and other stuff.

It's a real pain to be the organizer, but that's the true nature of giving, isn't it, doing something for others that focuses on them, not you.

We did give an individual gift to teachers in elementary school and I know that the teachers got overwhelmed with homemade brownies and Starbucks gift cards. But at least they only have a small number of students.

In secondary schools, the teachers have several classes and if every student gave a gift it would be overwhelming and particularly if they were expected to write an individual note of thanks to each student, what an onerous task to give them over their break!

Instead, I think the teacher appreciation days done at some of the schools is a much better idea. The PTA organizes a latte cart or a lunch including goodies that parents can contribute to either by money or baking goodies. In this way the teachers all get appreciated and not overwhelmed.

@Meanwhile: Yes, if a gift is thanked in person, that is considered enough. However, if not, the recipient should write a message, which confirms they received it, according to etiquette. Usually, the card/gift card has been left in their boxes or on their desks in their absence. Just seems too kissy to give it in person when other students are around, plus, there was no time when the bell schedule allowed only 5 minutes for breaks to next classes. But maybe that's the issue, if it's not directly handed to them, it seems insincere. But really, we have given a fair amount over the years and it's too coincidental that we have not received gratitude. And my children are well-liked and hardworking students.

@Resident: Why is it too much to ask for them to write thank you notes? They can simply cut and paste! I suppose, that's where the email might be preferred so the teacher doesn't have to look up the email address.

Well, I have heard that people aren't even sending thank you notes for wedding gifts anymore, and if anything, that is the occasion most do send thank you notes. Everyone is getting so selfish with their time and behavior. The South is sounding good to me; I used to think they were too superficial, but at least they have manners and social skills unseen here.

Posted by Paly Mom, a resident of Another Palo Alto neighborhood

>> The South is sounding good to me; I used to think they were too superficial, but at least they have manners and social skills unseen here.

You probably should move to Palm Beach, FL, the most mannerly city in the US: Web Link Or, on different lists, Charleston, Greenville, or Columbia, SC, or Hollywood, FL, Natchez, MS, and Savannah, GA. These cities in the South are all much more mannerly than around here, where it is very rude.

I grew up in Pescadero back in the 1950s. We'd give our teachers fresh caught salmon and/or abalone that we went diving for.

Some of the kids who grew up on farms gave freshly slaughtered chickens or rabbits...sometimes eggs.

Things were simpler back then.

Whenever I gave gift cards, chocolates, etc to teachers in middle and high school they always said thank you in person. But the gift was already a thank you, so I guess it was mutually understood that there wouldn't be further thank yous?

Maybe it depends on the scale of the gift; if someone personally spends in excess of $50-$100 on a gift, I could see "etiquette" saying that maybe another thank you is warranted since that person went above and beyond.

It's all so subjective though—what constitutes etiquette, something that is arguably constantly evolving? What constitutes above and beyond? Perhaps if the price of the gift is more than three standard deviations away from the mean price of a gift for teachers. I'm sure some people on the other extreme would question why you would ever buy a teacher a gift in the first place. I really don't know if there's any answer to this besides anecdotal evidence and opinions.

I can't speak for all of my colleagues, but I'll echo a comment above and suggest a note or card is the best gift. Small gift cards, something sweet... also appreciated, and certainly not expected. If you want to give more, consider a donation in honor of a teacher; higher value gifts are not really appropriate.

Pleas from school in Wales not to buy gifts for teachers. Web Link

QUOTE: Instead, I think the teacher appreciation days done at some of the schools is a much better idea. The PTA organizes a latte cart or a lunch including goodies that parents can contribute to either by money or baking goodies. In this way the teachers all get appreciated...

A good idea. That way, the teachers that aren't particularly appreciated or liked by the students are still included. *L*

We give our children's teachers bags of root vegetables that we grow during the autumn months and blocks of homemade tofu.

Sometimes the children bring their teachers cooking acorns as well. Some acorns can be very bitter so they must be sorted to eliminate the ones with high tannins. Another favorite holiday gift idea are the wild mushrooms that we pick during the winter months.

A handwritten thank you card without a gift is appropriate. Monetary gifts and favors could be perceived as a bribe for either grades or attention.
It would make many teachers feel awkward.
A lack of acknowledgement may mean that the teacher feels awkward about receiving a gift.
My suggestion would be to simply have your child write a personal note in a card.
If it comes from a parent of a middle school or high school level student, it may make you look like a manipulative, over-doting "helicopter" parent.

Not trying to ridicule but curious...

>Sometimes the children bring their teachers cooking acorns as well.

Who eats acorns?

>>Another favorite holiday gift idea are the wild mushrooms that we pick during the winter months.

Sounds potentially dangerous as many knowledgeable wild mushroom pickers have died after picking the wrong ones.

>>> ...blocks of homemade tofu.

Highly perishable if not pasteurized like the tofu you get at the supermarket.

Amazing if this particular teacher makes it back to school after the Xmas break.

San Benito County Chiming in...

We have a feral pig problem in the foothills so every winter a small number of hunters are issued temporary licenses to go hunt them down. After shooting the pigs, some of us will dig a pit and roast them for a neighborly holiday get together and potluck. We call it a redneck luau and the kids often invite their teachers.

It's a very casual gathering and the children get to experience their teachers in another light (i.e. drinking beer, telling dirty jokes and what not). Afterwards, we hoist a pinata of our most reviled politicians and let the kids swing away at them. Great fun for everyone.

Cautionary Christmas Gifts, you had me literally laughing out loud! I was thinking the same thing, especially with the mushrooms, so I wondered if it was a joke. But your last line is the funniest

PAUSD secondary school teachers earn 6 figures and have 2.5 months off per year. They have it made and shouldn’t get anything more than an email. Giving a gift card is completely unnecessary and should be for lower wage earners.

"PAUSD secondary school teachers earn 6 figures and have 2.5 months off per year. They have it made...."

Some say that teachers put in more than a 40 hour work week when at school. I would imagine that it varies depending on the courses or grade being taught.

The 2.5 months off is terrific and the teacher's associations have many discounted travel programs.

So in a way, they do have a pretty good set-up...which is probably why there are so many mediocre teachers and college educators as some are in it purely for the benefits and time-off.

The school day is 6.5-7 hours and many teachers want to catch the train or beat rush hour; many do not stay after school to help students. I wouldn’t be surprised if they work less than 40 hours per week because they aren’t teaching all day long as elementary teachers do.

Additionally, most English teachers these days don’t assign papers so they don’t have to spend time grading them. The only way to learn how to write is through feedback. Oftentimes, they ask students to exchange papers and grade each others’. How is another student qualified to grade a paper? PiE should hire graders since many English teachers aren’t doing their jobs. English teachers should grade papers after hours as they did when I grew up in PAUSD.

Moreover, many teachers don’t answer emails from students. Did they really choose to teach to help students or for the limited work hours and 2.5 months off? Surely, the first few years takes more time to develop their curriculum but after that, it’s good hours.

Doesn’t help quality control when reaching tenure takes only 2 years and firing a teacher is impossible due to the teachers union. Yes, cushy career. Ditch the teachers union and rehire so we get the teachers who really care, as there are some.

I have two kids who are students at Paly and can attest that their English teachers do assign papers, a lot actually! Papers have been assigned not just in English, but also in World History, US Government, Bio H and AP Seminar. And the teachers themselves grade all papers, not other students. Also most of my kids' teachers have responded to emails from my kids within 24-48 hours.

> The school day is 6.5-7 hours and many teachers want to catch the train or beat rush hour;

Is this due to their commute and the expensive cost of housing in Palo Alto? Or would they still be in a hurry to leave school even if they lived in town?

> Oftentimes, they ask students to exchange papers and grade each others’. How is another student qualified to grade a paper?

Especially if the students are in an ESL class.

> Doesn’t help quality control when reaching tenure takes only 2 years

Did the schools districts shorten the length? I thought it used to be 6 years or so. A 2-year tenured teacher is hardly a veteran educator...practically a student teacher at best.